I have a deep dark secret. One that is sure to make you ashamed of me. I try to hide it but like all deep and dirty secrets it finds its way out. I am an addict. And cannot control it. I am addicted to Original Recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken. There is just something about…
Tag: ira glass
BREAKING NEWS: Wikileaks Stole My –
Can You Believe it? Seriously, Can You Believe It? How dare those Russian hackers do this? Is nothing sacred? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gotcha! The complete title of this is “BREAKING NEWS: My Life In Bad Food: Wikileaks Stole My Risotto Recipe!” In the midst of one of the dirtiest elections in our nation’s history, Wikileaks released emails…
Mikey Had A Little Lamb
As some of you may know, I have a difficult relationship with lamb. I won’t make a secret of it. To me, lamb is greasy and normally has an aftertaste reminiscent of antifreeze. It’s not just that I have had a lot of bad lamb – and I have. Really, really bad lamb. It doesn’t…
Killer Coke?
Did I ever tell you about the time a Diet Coke tried to kill me? Seriously! I kid you not. Actually, soda has tried to kill me a couple of times…True ‘dat! The first time was a couple of years ago. I was driving through the southern part of Indianapolis in my old Kia Spectra….
Ever Played Russian Roulette?
I don’t know about you but I really, really hate it when someone messes in my kitchen. And I get really paranoid when it takes FOREVER to get things back to the way they were. Paranoid to the point of ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! Let me explain: My husband has just finished the most amazing makeover of our…
You Made HOW Much?
This is not quite a bad food story but it could have gone very wrong. Well, it actually did. But, then it didn’t. Let me explain: “Hey, Mike. Are you willing to bake bread for an event?” came over the phone. “Sure. how many loaves do you need?” I asked. “Fifty?” she asked. “Fifty? What…
Four Little Words That Lead to Hell
Everyone has their triggers. You know what I mean. The words that set them off. Their “hot buttons” if you will. They can be simple. “Stop!” They can be dramatic. “This is a stick-up!” They can be a let-down. “Have you met my husband?” They can even lead to a host of other questions. “I…
Pride Goeth Before A Fall
First off, I apologize if I haven’t published anything for a while. Planning for SCA 50 Year is taking most of my free time right now. My Saturday nights are no longer my safe haven for writing. And Now: My recent adventure. Hubris can be one’s downfall. I should know – it happened to me….
Walmart Really Is The Sixth Circle of Hell
So how does a tire change become a bad food story? Let me tell you… The Ford pickup had blown a tire and we had put the spare on, but my husband, Jim, didn’t like the idea of driving without a spare tire so it fell to me to get it fixed. With a snowstorm…
There Are Better Ways to Make a First Impression…
This most recent bout of stomach flu has set me to thinking. Some people meet their boss during an interview. Others meet their boss during employee orientation. I once met mine by throwing up on her. Let me explain. I had been doing computer contracting work at a rather large corporation near my home. This was…
The Ballad of Floyd the Pig
Someone asked me to please retell this story – one of my favorites. I will warn you though -this is the CLEAN version! Anyone who wants the PG-13 version email me directly for the link. While this is not exactly a bad food tale, it came close. And, it does result from one of the…
Beware the Blob!
All of us think our Grandmother is the bomb BUT I KNOW mine is. Or was as the case may be. A few of you know this story. My Grandma Hobbs was one of the finest cooks I have ever had the pleasure to know. I swear she could take a bag of breadcrumbs, some…
My Life In Bad Food 