Secret Herbs and Spices, Eh?

I have a deep dark secret.

One that is sure to make you ashamed of me.

llewcook

I try to hide it but like all deep and dirty secrets it finds its way out.

I am an addict.

And cannot control it.

I am addicted to Original Recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken.

There is just something about it that makes my mouth water just thinking about. I am practically drooling right now while writing.

Some people get the tremens from their addictions. I drool.

Last Saturday, I was pulling some overtime and knew I would not have time to make dinner when I got home for the hub and I. What better way to indulge my addiction then driving through the nearest Kentucky Fried Chicken? I could practically taste the gravy as I pulled up.

“Maay —- “CRACKLE snap “you?” came through the speaker.

“Pardon?” I said.

“Maaaaaaaay I heeeeelp yooooou?” the voice drawled again.

“Yes, may I have a number one combo, please?”

“Did you say a number three combo?” was the response.

“No, a number one combo, please!” I stated louder.

“Three number ones?” crackled back.

“No, I want ONE number ONE combo, please!” I roared back.

“Okay, so a number one combo? Original or extra crispy?”

“Original recipe.” I answered.

“Extra crispy?”

GRRRRRRRRRR.

“No, original recipe!”

“Okay, a number one, original recipe?” came back.

“Right!”

One of the cars behind me started to creep up to show their displeasure with waiting.

“What sides?”the speaker asked.

“Mashed and gravy and sweet corn.”

“Mac and cheese?” was the response.

“No, mashed and gravy!” I was getting angry.

“And green beans?”

“And sweet corn!”

“Got it!” popped the speaker.

‘I certainly hope so’ was my mental response.

“Want anything to drink?”

“A large Diet Coke.”

The car behind me had started to flash his lights as though that would make my order go faster.

“A small Sprite?”

I should have known!

“No, a LARGE DIET COKE!” I practically shouted.

“Mango Tea?”

“FINE!!!!” I screamed as the car behind me started to tap his horn in an orgy of obnoxiousness.

Gritting my teeth, I pulled around the building and up to the window.

As the window opened, a wave of smoke came through. Earthly and smelling vaguely of skunk. Ah, that was why.

I figured out what the secret herb was that night at the KFC.

Marijuana.

Smiling, the cashier handed my out the bags and a drink. Frustrated, I pulled out quickly.

As the car behind me came into view in the rear view mirror, I realized it was an IMPD cruiser. I wonder what HE ordered.

Oh, they actually got my order perfect!

 

NOW LET’S DO IT RIGHT!

Home Style Fried Chicken

For this recipe, dried spices work best.

2 cups white flour

2/3 Tbsp. salt

1/2 Tbsp. thyme

1/2 Tbsp. basil

1/3 Tbsp. oregano

1 Tbsp. celery salt

1 Tbsp. black pepper, fresh ground

1 Tbsp. mustard, dried

1/2 Tbsp. paprika

2 Tbsp. garlic salt

1 Tbsp. ginger, ground

3 Tbsp. white pepper fresh ground

1 Tbsp. Monosodium glutamate or chicken bouillon

5 lbs. assorted chicken parts

3 eggs

3 cups lard

  1. Start by melting the lard in a large frying pan. You want it hot but not smoking.
  2. Crack the eggs and whip them lightly in a large bowl. Slowly mix in the flour and dry spices. If there is not enough liquid to create a batter, add another egg.
  3. This is important! Dredge the chicken pieces in the batter and lay them aside for about ten minutes until the batter starts to dry on the pieces.
  4. Fry until crispy and serve hot.

AND THE SECRET INGREDIENT THAT KFC USES:

To make certain that their chicken stays moist and juicy, KFC cooks their chicken in a pressure cooker instead of a regular frying pan. Using this method keeps the chicken from drying out and locks in the flavor.

ENJOY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. George L Reed says:

    I am an author and I love reading your work. Thank you for sharing these tales with us. We, and you, are all the better for it!

    Like

  2. Love the story and the recipe. Thanks! You rock!

    Like

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