Why Is My CAT Getting SPAM?!?

The most bizarre things appear when you cruise your SPAM filter. I am cooking the State Dinner at Pennsic this year and some of the emails appeared to have gone missing so I cracked open my SPAM folder to see if they had gone astray. In short, yes, they had but that wasn’t what caught…

Paleo-what?

Why are people on trendy diets so goddamn smug? Seriously! Not that there’s anything wrong with being on a diet, mind you. I have done some of them myself – although my current waistline might disagree. What is it about these yuppified diets that makes people want to brag that not only are they fat…

Well, I Did It!

I tried out for the food Network. I have what can best be described as a blathering mouth. Enjoy!

The Great Cookie Battle

This is a story of WAR. Deep, dark no-holds-barred war. Let me put it another way Sometimes, you just feel pissy. You just have to have a fight. You know what I mean. There are times when no matter what is going on you just have to rip someone a new one. Puppies barking? SNAP!…

Do You Really Know What You Are Eating?

Or should I say “Do You Really WANT To Know What You Are Eating?” I hate surprises. I really hate surprises. I really, REALLY hate surprises! Culinary ones, that is. For example, I get cold chills when someone mentions a secret ingredient. Chicken gizzards hiding in that soup? Yup. Vinegar in that cherry pie? Yuuup….

The Dog Ate What?

It is really hard for my husband to surprise me. After all, I monitor the bank account like a hawk as we have been hacked a couple of times so I have a very annoying habit of saying things like “Did you really spend $45 bucks at Steak N’ Shake?” or “You ordered WHAT from…

So, The Jerry Springer Show Called…

There is nothing quite like a truly great milkshake. Come on…Admit it. Sitting in an easy chair sipping on a straw and relaxing with my feet up is how I used to spend many a relaxing evening. I have fallen asleep in the chair only to wake up when the glass tipped over and dripped…

Costco Ruined My New Year’s Resolution

Most people resolve to lose weight or to exercise more each New Year’s. Not Me. My New Year’s Resolution: Go to Costco and actually come home with ONLY the item I went there to get. Un-huhn… My resolution lasted exactly twenty-nine days… Here is how it happened. When I woke us this morning, there was…

Rocky Mountain WHAT?!?

Anthony Bourdain I ain’t. Seriously. I do not eat weird food just to eat weird food like he does. For example, I saw him  on TV eating deep-fried locusts… The guy ate BUGS! and he liked them! I have a moth fly accidentally into my mouth and I am coughing and barfing for 45 minutes…

Say “Ahhhhh!”

As some of you know, I have had surgery of late and have been a bit quiet in my writing. BUT never let it be said that my adventures in bad food are completed! As a matter of fact, it has even given me material for yet another bad food adventure. So, there I was…

Secret Herbs and Spices, Eh?

I have a deep dark secret. One that is sure to make you ashamed of me. I try to hide it but like all deep and dirty secrets it finds its way out. I am an addict. And cannot control it. I am addicted to Original Recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken. There is just something about…

BREAKING NEWS: Wikileaks Stole My –

Can You Believe it? Seriously, Can You Believe It? How dare those Russian hackers do this? Is nothing sacred? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gotcha! The complete title of this is “BREAKING NEWS: My Life In Bad Food: Wikileaks Stole My Risotto Recipe!” In the midst of one of the dirtiest elections in our nation’s history, Wikileaks released emails…