Pande-fricking-monium! There I said it! That is what it has been like trying to shop this week after the panic caused by governmental incompetence. All I wanted was some fricking rice and it was sold out everywhere. Kroger? Nope. Needler’s? Nope. Aldi’s? Nope, again. Three strikes – you’re out! Guess where I finally found it?…
Category: gay pride
Is it Chili in Here?
Super Bowl time!
The Revenge of Floyd the Pig!
Enough already! Yes, I know there is more to the story of Floyd the Pig but I was trying to be CLEAN! OKAY?!? Yes, I know some of you have heard more of the story but I was trying to be good. Ooooooookay! Here it is. “The Revenge of Floyd the Pig” The dinner had…
I Will Have the Jeffrey Dahmer Special with a side of deep-fried Sweeney!
Being a cook means you get to spend a lot of time in other people’s kitchens. A lot of QUALITY time. However… Some people have odd taste in decorating. Take the signs people keep in their kitchens for instance. There are the ones you expect to see: “Wash Hands Before Preparing Food” And, the tacky…
What The Hell Is In This?
All cooks do it whether they admit it or not. You hate to throw out food. I know I do. Any time my husband opens the refrigerator and starts complaining about how full it is, I simply hold my breath, refuse to answer and hope he moves along as quickly as possible to the next…
Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road?
This story could also be subtitled: “Why is that chicken on fire?” You may or may not know it but my brother could never be described as the sharpest tack in the shed. I mean, you expect a teenager to have the occasional accident… Or, get caught experimenting with marijuana… Maybe even piss off the…
Honey, You Better Hide That From The Cops!
When cooking, you expect a lot of questions. “What is this?” Simple but to the point. “Is this Kosher?” Oops. “Was there dairy in this?” It is butter cream frosting after all. Even “What was that Best By date again?” Do you really want to know this? You do not expect, however, to be accused…
Is This Supposed to Crunch?
Okay, I admit it. Every cook has one. A dark culinary secret that they hide away to keep people from laughing at them. Some cooks buy frosting. Some served canned soup. Others, well… me,…oh… well, I sometimes use a box mix when making something that is not normally on my agenda. Usually, dinner turns out…
Red Rover, Red Rover…
As some of you are aware, my husband talked me into a Great Dane puppy recently. Meet Zeus. Ten months old and 170 lbs. Also known as He Who Must Destroy All in His Wake. Seriously. Give ya an example: Have you ever seen how a kitchen looks after a Great Dane puppy has eaten…
The Buffet In Hell, Part the First
Talk about a shitstorm … YEESH! You ask one stupid question online and you get swarmed. All I asked is “What one food would you expect to find on the buffet in hell?” and you would not believe the flack! I expected the answers would be simple. You know, like lima beans or raw oysters,…
He Said What?!?!?!
It is truly a wonderful thing that society is trying to be sensitive to the needs of others not like themselves but — Um, Take Two… There comes a time when trying to be sensitive to all possibilities becomes downright weird… Nope… Let me try that again… There are times when you just learn to…
Why Is My CAT Getting SPAM?!?
The most bizarre things appear when you cruise your SPAM filter. I am cooking the State Dinner at Pennsic this year and some of the emails appeared to have gone missing so I cracked open my SPAM folder to see if they had gone astray. In short, yes, they had but that wasn’t what caught…
My Life In Bad Food 