He Said What?!?!?!

It is truly a wonderful thing that society is trying to be sensitive to the needs of others not like themselves but —


Um, Take Two…

There comes a time when trying to be sensitive to all possibilities becomes downright weird…


Let me try that again…

There are times when you just learn to keep your mouth shut.

For example…

Admit or not, there is nothing quite like McDonald’s French fries. Many have tried to replicate them and all have failed. Even knowing the secret behind them, I still crave them hot and fresh.

And, I bet you do, too.

So, I was starting to pack up from camping for a week when I realized that I was running low on gas while fetching the truck from the parking lot. I skipped out to the gas station that was about a mile away from the site and filled ‘er up.

Attached to the gas station was a McDonald’s restaurant and my stomach was growling. There were about 15 cars in the drive through so I decided to walk inside. The store was a bit busy and I had to wait about 10 minutes to reach the register.

While waiting, I checked out the other people in line. Directly behind me was a gentleman that could be best described as an old hippie. Long hair, tie-dyed t-shirt and a cowboy hat completed the ensemble.

Finally reaching the register, the little manager behind the counter proceeded to ring me out. “Brandon, Shift Manager” was an unfortunate-looking young man who seemed to think that his pimple-like manbun made him more attractive than he was.

Seriously, his manbun was the most pathetic thing I had ever seen.

Paying for my purchase, I stepped down the counter to wait for my food and to clear space for the aging hippie. The older gentleman ordered his food and paid.

That is when it happened.

Clearing his throat, the tie-dyed cowboy said, “Pardon me. Do you mind if I ask a question?”

Puzzled, Brandon said, “Sure.”

“I just want to know if you are transgender.” asked the hippie.


Stunned, the entire restaurant turned to listen. You could have heard a pin drop.

The poor little manager looked like someone had swacked him hard with a huge pillow. He opened and closed his mouth several times like some huge goldfish.

“Um, no. Why do you ask?” dropped Brandon into the hush.

“Well, I just wanted to let you know that in our town anyone wearing one of those” (the customer indicated the manbun) “can use any restroom they want. I thought you might just like to know.”

THAT is when my food arrived!

Running out the door to the parking lot, I lost it completely and started to deep belly laugh.

I was laughing so hard someone stopped and ask if I needed the Heimlich maneuver.


McDonald’s Like French Fries


8 Idaho Russett Potatoes

Kosher Flake Salt

2 cups corn syrup

4 cups lard

4 cups peanut oil

Here is the secret:

Place the potatoes in a dehydrator for 12 hours. Alternately, place them in an oven on the lowest setting overnight.

  1. Cut the potatoes into shoestring cuts.
  2. Soak the cut potatoes in the corn syrup for one hour.
  3. Melt the lard and mix with the oil.
  4. Bring the oil above frying temp.
  5. Quick fry the potatoes in the lard.
  6. Sprinkle with salt and serve
  7. Serve six. ENJOY!

Copyright 2017 Micheal J. Hobbs


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