Butter Flavored Pooch?

There are many sounds you do not wish to hear when sleeping.

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Sirens.

Glass breaking.

Water dripping.

Then, there is what happened to me last Thursday.

Some nights you just want to sleep. Deep, dark and swimming in the nether.  Dreams come and go. Fantastical creatures swims by on their way to other adventures. The night passes as you float along.

Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Then, a sound you don’t want to hear forces its way into your unconscious.

“Bwap!”

Hmmm?

“BWAP!”

Hunh?

“BWAAAPPPP!”

WHA? As I struggle to wake.

And then…!

“BWAAAAAOOOOOORPPPPP!”

And suddenly, my chest was very warm and very wet.

I also smelled like butter. A lot of butter!

I was awake!

Jumping out of bed, I realized what that sound had been. Speck, our little dog, had thrown up on me!

Bwap!

And, she was going to do it again!

Grabbing the pup, I sprint out of the bedroom with a gushing fire extinguisher in my hands.

Bwap!

All down the upstairs hallway…

Bwap!

Slip and sliding down the back stairs!

Bwap!

All across the kitchen and out the back door!

Bwap! as she finally skidded to a stop in the back yard.

Huffing and puffing I wondered why this happened as I grabbed a mop and began to cleanup the butter-flavored landscape.

The previous night, Apollo, the giant schnauzer, had somehow managed to get the refridgerator open while we were gone and had eaten several pounds of chicken skewers. (Yes, he was fine.)

I hadn’t noticed anything else missing at the time but figured it was worth a check as I opened the door.

AH!

There it was.

A whole pound of butter was missing.

In short, a seven pound dog had eaten 1/7 of her body weight in butter…

Half an hour of cleaning and 1/2 gallon of Simple Green later, I went to fetch Speck from the back yard.  Poor thing was all puked out and kept trying to lick me. Butter-flavored vomit it may be but just no way.

Oh, and did I mention she was turning yellow from the butter.

(Yes, she is fine.)

 

NOW, LET’S DO IT RIGHT ! (and, yes, someone actually requested this recipe after hearing the story!)

Butter Cream Frosting

Ingredients

1 lb. butter

2 tbsp vanilla extract

8 cups powdered sugar

And the secret ingredient is:

1/2 cup whipping cream

This recipe is very simple but easy to get wrong. Most recipes call for milk as opposed to cream.

  1. Set out the butter to soften but do not allow to melt.
  2. Add butter and vanilla to a chilled mixing bowl and mix on low.
  3. Slowly mix in the powdered sugar.
  4. Add about half the cream and slowly mix.
  5. Once completely mixed, add the remainder of the cream.
  6. Whip on high until smooth.
  7. Place in the fridge until chilled.
  8. While some prefer to frost a cake, I prefer to eat it straight from the bowl with spoon.
  9. Enjoy!

 

Copyright Micheal J Hobbs 2017

 

 

 

 

 

 

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