Have you ever been forced to wonder what people think about you by what they say to you?

I have…and lately it has gotten a little strange.

It all started about a month ago when a article appeared in an online journal regarding medieval cookery. I did not know the article even existed until friends started popping out of nowhere.

“Llew, did you see this?” said one.

“Hey, Llew, did you see the article on Archaeology Today?”

Or “Wow! You could have written that piece you know?”

I could?

Then, I read the article and sighed.

Not again…

“Are Magic Mushrooms Medieval?”

Sigh…

Why? Why? Why?

What is it about me that makes people assume that magic mushrooms are my friends and that I partake on a regular basis?

Is it because I am a geek?

Is it because I like historical food?

Or, is it because I love science fiction and fantasy?

Whatever the root cause, any time some article related to psylocibin mushrooms and partaking appears, I am swamped by people wanting to know what I think of it.

I thought we had gotten over the hump a few weeks ago caused by the medieval article when yet another article on magic mushrooms appeared talking about how one treatment with the pychedelic fungi had been shown to cut depression and suicide in PTSD afflicted veterans by 25%.

Great data! Yeah!

But, why did every person decide they had to ask me about it as though I had ever partaken of magic mushtooms!!!

Grrrrrr!

When in fact, I have never knowingly done fantasy fungi.

BUT…

Well, you see, I was at a frat party at one of the houses on frat row at college and I was drunk off my ass. In college, I was quite the drunkard. I do not remember a single weekend my freshman or sophomore years when I was not out partying.

That was until the TK party. They were the party frat on campus and their alcohol budget probably exceeded the tuition of most students on a yearly basis.

So there I was drunk as a skunk sitting by the food table when someone came along with a tray.

“Want something?” the girl dressed like Magenta from “Rocky Horror” asked.

“Whatchya got?” I slurred as I tried to focus my eyes through the blurry landscape of my mind.

“Something really, really good for you.” she smiled rather dangerously.

“Sure…I’ll have some.”

She handed me a skewer.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Magic!” she said. “Pepperoni, olives and pickled mushrooms!”

It looked good.

“Have fun!” she tittered as she skipped away.

I love pepperoni so I choked it down. It wasn’t bad.

Then,

I knew something was wrong when I started to get very warm. I started to take off my shirt when someone stopped me.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Well, you are taking your shirt off outside in Wisconsin in December.” my frat brother said. “And, this is not even our frat house.  Think that is normal?”

I did not hear anything else as the moon and stars started to glow and sing to me.

Colors.

Colors!

COLORS!!!

The Universe was Mine!

I seem to remember walking in my boxers barefoot in the snow.

The Galactic Stream hummed me to sleep…

Uh…

Uh…

Uhhhh. The next day I woke up under the dining room table at Delta House…

The Universe made me pay for my adventure,

Needless to say, I have never done them again!

NOW LET’S DO THIS RIGHT!

Pickled Garlic Portabello Mushrooms

Ingredients:

Portablello Mushrooms, 1 pound

Onion, 1

White Wine Vinegar, 1 cup

Water, 1/2 cup

Garlic Cloves, 4

Balsamic Vinegar, ¼ cup

Vegetable oil, ½ cup

Salt

Pepper

1. Shred the garlic and onion.
2. Clean the mushrooms and cut in half if they are larger than bite size.
3. In a bowl, combine the mushrooms with the water, oil and wine vinegar.
4. Add the spices to taste.
5. The  Secret Ingredient is balsamic vinegar! Add it and then marinate overnight.
6. Serves four.
7. ENJOY!

Copyright 2022 M.J. Hobbs