I know a lot of you saw the ads online.

I know because half of you all seemed to have copied the links to Facebook and clogged my feed for a good 24 hours.

“Pringles Announces New Turducken Flavored Pringles!”

What the hell?

They can’t be serious…but they were! Billed as a way of avoiding all the cleanup but giving you all of the flavor in time for Thanksgiving.

Really?!?

I couldn’t help myself. I checked out the website. Turkey, Chicken and duck flavored Pringles stacked to make the elusive flavor of “Turducken”.

What is turducken, you ask? Well, usually is it a cut up duck inserted along with the stuffing into a turkey and roasted. I have made this several times and it is a way of removing some of the gamey flavor from the duck while adding a certain insouciance to the turkey. I actually quite like it.

But Turducken flavored Pringles???

I figured what the heck and ordered them (and it is a good thing I did because the site crashed almost immediately after and took several days to come back up — by which time they were sold out!

The package was inauspicious when it arrived. Even though I know that Pringles are light and airy, I guess I thought deep down they would be a little heftier as they were supposedly meat flavored.

The contents were not impressive. There were chicken flavored chips, turkey chips, and duck chips. I don’t quite know what I expected but fairly standard freeze dried chips were NOT it.

To complete the meal, they included side dish flavored chips: stuffing and cranberry flavors. Oh, and of course, pumpkin pie flavored chips for dessert.

I was not exactly eager to dive into this dining extravaganza but, what the hell?

Crunchcrunchcrunchcrunchcrunchcrunchcrunch…

And, the verdict is?

Well…meh.

The chicken chips were good if a bit bland.

The duck chips tasted like they had been left on the grill too long.

The turkey chips tasted like chicken noodle soup that had been watered down too much.

To get the full flavor, the company recommended stacking the chips, so I did. The result reminded me of a bowl of burnt chicken and noodles. Interesting but not something I would order.

And, the other items?

Well, the pumpkin pie chips were okay, but Starbucks does it a lot better. Venti ice chai tea anyone?

The stuffing flavored chips tasted like old hay that had been in a stable for a few days too long. A stable with a big, diarrhetic horse.

And the cranberry chips … Need you ask?

I honesty thought there was not any way to make cranberries – the world’s second nastiest food – second only to fried liver – any worse but they somehow managed it.

UGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!

Nasty enough to place this entire meal in the Buffet In Hell!

The cranberry chips tasted exactly like that jellied cranberry shit that ends up on the buffets each holiday. Nasty with a long-lasting flavor sure to make you puke unless you can wash it away quickly.

I ran to the kitchen to get a pop while wondering how best to get rid of the chips when the dogs solved the problem for me.

Entering the room, I heard loud crunching and tripped over a canister. The dogs had taken advantage of my absence to avail themselves of the chips.

I was saved!

Needless to say, the dogs had to go out a lot – all night long….

NOW LET’S DO IT RIGHT!!!

TURDUCKEN

Ingredients:

1 Turkey, 15-20 lbs.

1 Duck, 4 lbs.

1 Chicken, 2 lbs.

Bread stuffing, 3 cups

Cornbread, chopped, 3 cups

Chicken broth, 3 cups

Pecans, 1/4 cup

Black pepper

Garlic, 3 cloves

Fresh sage, 4 fronds

Fresh Thyme, 2 ounces

Olive Oil, 1 tbsp.

Butter, 4 tbsp. (1/2 stick)

Kosher salt

SECRET INGREDIENT:

Andouille Sausage, 8 oz.

1. Rinse the turkey in brine and remove the innards.
2. Rinse the chicken and duck and remove bones but keep skin.
3. In a saucepan, add the broth and slowly heat.
4. Cube the cornbread and add it and the stuffing slowly to the broth so that it is damp but not sopping. Remove heat.
5. Chop the pecans and add to the stuffing.
6. Finely chop the sage and thyme and garlic.
7. Melt butter in a saucepan and add the chopped spices and olive oil. Add pepper and salt to taste.
8. Chop the andouille sausage.
9. Stuff the chicken with the sausage and fold closed tightly.
10. Place the chicken inside of the duck.
11. Sprinkle duck with salt and pepper and fold tightly.
12. Brush the duck with the melted butter mixture.
13. Place the duck as far into the turkey as possible.
14. Place as much stuffing as possible inside the turkey.
15. Skewer the turkey closed as far as possible.
16. Preheat the oven to 300.
17. Turn the turkey opening down and brush the turkey with the melted butter mixture. You can use any extra stuffing to cushion the turkey if you wish.
18. Roast turkey for approximately four hours or until done to 165 F in the middle.
19. Baste regularly.
20. Slice open to show all layers.
21. ENJOY!