Just Push A Little Harder

I love sausage.  I really, really do.

And, no, you sicko. I mean sausage as in a stuffed casing – not the other type. Um, I mean, I like that type, too, but—

Where was I?

Ah, sausage.

Seriously, is there anything better on this planet than a warm Italian sausage fresh from the grill?  Dripping with juice and maybe a little Dijon mustard. Who needs a bun?

MMMMMMMMMMMMM!

So, I decided to make it on my own for the first time.  I had a weekend event coming up and I wanted to do something a little different.

I started off by buying the best ingredients. Pork roast marinated in wine and mixed with some spiced bread crumbs should do it, right? Add kosher flake salt and fresh ground pepper and then stuff it into a casing.

What could go wrong?

The pork roasts arrived hard frozen. Hard as a brick – could nail a board – frozen. All we could do is to put them in tubs of wine and try to get them to thaw. It was almost impossible to close the fridge it was packed so tightly.

Determined to make the best of a bad situation, I placed the casing on the end of the sausage stuffer and started to turn.  Chopping the meat to fit in the little opening, I cranked and cranked and cranked. And cranked and cranked and cranked. And cranked and cranked and cranked.

Exhausted after 30 minutes of cranking, I surveyed my achievement. A pathetic looking six inch sausage.

After all that? There had to be a better way.

That is when I laid eyes on my industrial food processor. Bingo!  Rummaging through a drawer for attachments I never used and had even half forgotten I owned, I found it! The sausage stuffer.  No little pathetic 1/2 cup at a time grinder this but 15 horsepower of pure sausage stuffing madness!

Maniacally chuckling, I hooked up the sausage press and slid the casing over the end. Grabbing a handful of pork I threw it in without bothering to chop it up. Some of it was still a bit frozen but who cared with that baby gearing up to make some serious sausage?

I started off slowly and to my amazement ended up with about 12 inches of sausage in three minutes. This rocked! Time to really get cracking.

I turned up the control from slow to medium and just kept stuffing and stuffing meat into that hopper. 2 feet became five feet became ten feet.

Mwahahahahahahahahaha! I was the god of sausage!

Turning the control up to high, I shoved a huge wad of meat into the press. That is when it happened.

The grinder was not thrilled with the frozen meat and was making load noises when I pushed harder. Suddenly, the stuffer grabbed that huge wad of meat and pushed it through at lightspeed. The casing swelled up like a balloon and then burst!

Meat went flying everywhere. Have you ever seen one of those Jackson Pollack paintings where he just takes red paint and flings it everywhere?  That was me – except with bloody pork. Everywhere.

I was covered with pork. The wall was covered with pork. The floor and ceiling were frosted with pork.

Here endeth the lesson.

Now let’s do it right!

Italian Sausage

Roughly chop the pork and mix with the wine and juniper berries.  Allow to soak overnight.

In the morning, strain out the juniper berries and mix in the other spices.

Stuff into the casing and tie off in six inch lengths.

You can scald them in beer if you wish and roast.

SERVE HOT!

 

COPYRIGHT 2016 Micheal J. Hobbs

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