You better watch out or it will get you!
Tag: humor
The Buffet In Hell: Halloween Edition
Tonight is Halloween and it is time for another edition of The Buffet In Hell! What additional food item will be enjoyed this night by Adolf Hitler and his fellow losers in Hell? Is it Spam? Nasty but no. Maybe tripe? Gross but it can be made edible. Pho, anyone? Corn smut? While its native…
Red Rover, Red Rover…
As some of you are aware, my husband talked me into a Great Dane puppy recently. Meet Zeus. Ten months old and 170 lbs. Also known as He Who Must Destroy All in His Wake. Seriously. Give ya an example: Have you ever seen how a kitchen looks after a Great Dane puppy has eaten…
All Things Must Pass…
Somehow I allowed my husband to talk me into a Great Dane puppy. Meet Zeus! He is nine months old and now weighs 160 lbs. AND…he thinks he is a lapdog. This is a dog whose tail causes not only whiplash but also severe testicle tap as well. Oh, he can also turn on the…
Widd or Widdout?
People in Philadelphia have VERY strong opinions about their cheesesteaks. I have actually seen people decide not to date someone because of their cheesesteak choices. Seriously. Geno’s has its defenders. But then so does Jim’s Cheesesteaks. And, of course, there is always Ishkabibble’s But any one of them is a trap. A trap! I tell…
Hitler Was A Liar! Hitler Was A Liar!
Adolf Hitler was a sadistic, genocidal maniac. No question of it. None whatsoever! So why am I writing about him? Especially in a column devoted to food? Because I am sick and tired of those alt-right sonofabitches trying to say he had anything approaching a redeeming quality. Oh, and he was food hypocrite! One of…
…And Then The Building Blew Up!
I’ll admit it. I am addicted. Yes, it is a guilty pleasure but an addiction is an addiction and must be professed and acted upon. Hello, my name is Mike and I am an addict. It has been 10 days since my last barbecue chicken wing from Rally’s. Deep breath. That’s a weight off my…
DAMN YOU COSTCO!!!!
Never shop at Costco during a blizzard! Sounds like a joke, right?!? Damn you to blazes, Costco! You ruined my New Year’s Resolution again! I swear I tried. But, you blew it away again! I promised the doctor I would lose weight. Twenty pounds to be exact. And, I was doing pretty well until —…
You Must Be Kidding Me!?!
Political correctness can go take a flying leap! Especially when it affects my cooking. There are many important things affecting the world today that you should be upset about: Poverty. War. Famine. Disease. My making a pot of pasta sauce is not one of them. Need I explain? Okay, I will One of my favorite…
The Buffet In Hell, Part The Second
There are many foods that you would expect on the buffet in Hell but only one is sure to jump out from a darkened alley and attack. You can smell it coming from a mile away. The Lunchroom Horror! Leafy Green Terror! The Slime Monster! RUNNNNNNNNN! IT’S GODZILLA VERSUS —- OKRA!!!!!!!!!!! Tokyo is doomed! Seriously,…
The Buffet In Hell, Part the First
Talk about a shitstorm … YEESH! You ask one stupid question online and you get swarmed. All I asked is “What one food would you expect to find on the buffet in hell?” and you would not believe the flack! I expected the answers would be simple. You know, like lima beans or raw oysters,…
What Died In Here?
It’s the strongest spice known to man and most of you have never heard of it. Really – BUT you may have heard of some of its nicknames: Devil’s Breath. Corpse Flour. Bad Feet. Or, my personal favorite: Teenager’s Tennis Shoes. Seriously, it stinks. It’s official name is Asafeotidae. The name is a merger of…
My Life In Bad Food 