When is the last time you had to carve soup with a knife? Sometimes, you make the best tasting concoctions purely by accident. Seriously, I have known culinary masterpieces to come out of nowhere. Dinner last Thursday is an example. My husband is a fantastic baker, a truly amazing baker, but he is not known…
Tag: gay pride
BACON! BACON! BACON!
With the pandemic and social distancing still on, shopping has been anything but easy. For instance, I have NEVER ever seen the meat case at Costco completely empty before. I am not talking less variety than normal. I mean completely empty of all fresh meat… No ground beef. No fresh chicken. No pork roast. Nada….
Recipe for the Apocalypse
Those of you who know me know that when I cook, I cook a lot. Not just a lot. A LOT! Being a former caterer and a Master Cook in the SCA, it is sort of expected. The standing joke is that I have enough food in my fridge to feed an entire Boy Scout…
The Golden Hoard
Pande-fricking-monium! There I said it! That is what it has been like trying to shop this week after the panic caused by governmental incompetence. All I wanted was some fricking rice and it was sold out everywhere. Kroger? Nope. Needler’s? Nope. Aldi’s? Nope, again. Three strikes – you’re out! Guess where I finally found it?…
The Revenge of Floyd the Pig!
Enough already! Yes, I know there is more to the story of Floyd the Pig but I was trying to be CLEAN! OKAY?!? Yes, I know some of you have heard more of the story but I was trying to be good. Ooooooookay! Here it is. “The Revenge of Floyd the Pig” The dinner had…
I Will Have the Jeffrey Dahmer Special with a side of deep-fried Sweeney!
Being a cook means you get to spend a lot of time in other people’s kitchens. A lot of QUALITY time. However… Some people have odd taste in decorating. Take the signs people keep in their kitchens for instance. There are the ones you expect to see: “Wash Hands Before Preparing Food” And, the tacky…
What The Hell Is In This?
All cooks do it whether they admit it or not. You hate to throw out food. I know I do. Any time my husband opens the refrigerator and starts complaining about how full it is, I simply hold my breath, refuse to answer and hope he moves along as quickly as possible to the next…
Why Did The Chicken Cross the Road?
This story could also be subtitled: “Why is that chicken on fire?” You may or may not know it but my brother could never be described as the sharpest tack in the shed. I mean, you expect a teenager to have the occasional accident… Or, get caught experimenting with marijuana… Maybe even piss off the…
Honey, You Better Hide That From The Cops!
When cooking, you expect a lot of questions. “What is this?” Simple but to the point. “Is this Kosher?” Oops. “Was there dairy in this?” It is butter cream frosting after all. Even “What was that Best By date again?” Do you really want to know this? You do not expect, however, to be accused…
Is This Supposed to Crunch?
Okay, I admit it. Every cook has one. A dark culinary secret that they hide away to keep people from laughing at them. Some cooks buy frosting. Some served canned soup. Others, well… me,…oh… well, I sometimes use a box mix when making something that is not normally on my agenda. Usually, dinner turns out…
Guess Who Got A Standing Ovation At Walmart?
Soooooo… My husband, Jim, was trying to make lemon balls for a Christmas party we were invited to and he ran out of mix so guess who got sent out for a box of mix? Yup. Me. Or to ask it another way, guess who got sent out at 8 p.m. on Christmas Eve looking…
The Holiday Epidemic We Are All Ignoring – To Our Peril!
You better watch out or it will get you!
My Life In Bad Food 