When is the last time you had to carve soup with a knife? Sometimes, you make the best tasting concoctions purely by accident. Seriously, I have known culinary masterpieces to come out of nowhere. Dinner last Thursday is an example. My husband is a fantastic baker, a truly amazing baker, but he is not known…
Tag: fish
The Revenge of Floyd the Pig!
Enough already! Yes, I know there is more to the story of Floyd the Pig but I was trying to be CLEAN! OKAY?!? Yes, I know some of you have heard more of the story but I was trying to be good. Ooooooookay! Here it is. “The Revenge of Floyd the Pig” The dinner had…
Is This Supposed to Crunch?
Okay, I admit it. Every cook has one. A dark culinary secret that they hide away to keep people from laughing at them. Some cooks buy frosting. Some served canned soup. Others, well… me,…oh… well, I sometimes use a box mix when making something that is not normally on my agenda. Usually, dinner turns out…
The Buffet In Hell: Halloween Edition
Tonight is Halloween and it is time for another edition of The Buffet In Hell! What additional food item will be enjoyed this night by Adolf Hitler and his fellow losers in Hell? Is it Spam? Nasty but no. Maybe tripe? Gross but it can be made edible. Pho, anyone? Corn smut? While its native…
DAMN YOU COSTCO!!!!
Never shop at Costco during a blizzard! Sounds like a joke, right?!? Damn you to blazes, Costco! You ruined my New Year’s Resolution again! I swear I tried. But, you blew it away again! I promised the doctor I would lose weight. Twenty pounds to be exact. And, I was doing pretty well until —…
You Must Be Kidding Me!?!
Political correctness can go take a flying leap! Especially when it affects my cooking. There are many important things affecting the world today that you should be upset about: Poverty. War. Famine. Disease. My making a pot of pasta sauce is not one of them. Need I explain? Okay, I will One of my favorite…
Do You Really Know What You Are Eating?
Or should I say “Do You Really WANT To Know What You Are Eating?” I hate surprises. I really hate surprises. I really, REALLY hate surprises! Culinary ones, that is. For example, I get cold chills when someone mentions a secret ingredient. Chicken gizzards hiding in that soup? Yup. Vinegar in that cherry pie? Yuuup….
Costco Ruined My New Year’s Resolution
Most people resolve to lose weight or to exercise more each New Year’s. Not Me. My New Year’s Resolution: Go to Costco and actually come home with ONLY the item I went there to get. Un-huhn… My resolution lasted exactly twenty-nine days… Here is how it happened. When I woke us this morning, there was…
I Freaked Out the Lunch Lady?!?
All foodies have one: A Secret Shame. Your deepest darkest secret. The one item you crave despite yourself. You know you do. Just admit it. To my mind, fried liver belongs on the buffet table in hell. Same for lima beans and that jellied cranberry crap you get on Thanksgiving. But I have friends who…
Oh, My! How Did You Get That Color?
Cooking takes instinct. And when instinct f ails, skill should kick in. When skills fails…oh, well. I had gone to an event and got roped into staying for dinner. Normally, I avoid eating food cooked by people I don’t know but there was absolutely no way I could wriggle out of it so there I…
Fishheads! Fishheads! Roly Poly Fishheads!
So! I decided to enter a cooking competition! And not just any cooking competition but the highest falutin one I knew – The Kingdom Arts and Sciences competition! So there! Phhbbpphhblllt! And I was gonna do it right. I was going to make garum! From Scratch! What is garum you ask? Are you some sort…
Sex and Food Just Don’t Mix
Sex and food can be an amazing combination. I mean, truly. There is nothing quite like sharing a piece of cake with your partner after a few hours of bliss. Ahhhhh. Then, there is my friend, Mark. Mark had everything. Handsome lover. Great job. Incredible condo on the beach. Amazing body. I was so damn…
My Life In Bad Food 