Soooooo… My husband, Jim, was trying to make lemon balls for a Christmas party we were invited to and he ran out of mix so guess who got sent out for a box of mix? Yup. Me. Or to ask it another way, guess who got sent out at 8 p.m. on Christmas Eve looking…
Tag: discworld
The Holiday Epidemic We Are All Ignoring – To Our Peril!
You better watch out or it will get you!
Hey, F**ckwad! Want Dressing With That E Coli Outbreak?
By now, most of you have heard that the Food and Drug Administration and the CDC have asked all restaurants and groceries to throw out all romaine lettuce products due to the nationwide e. coli outbreak, right? In short, the government says if you do not know where that leafy green pile came from, throw…
Red Rover, Red Rover…
As some of you are aware, my husband talked me into a Great Dane puppy recently. Meet Zeus. Ten months old and 170 lbs. Also known as He Who Must Destroy All in His Wake. Seriously. Give ya an example: Have you ever seen how a kitchen looks after a Great Dane puppy has eaten…
Hitler Was A Liar! Hitler Was A Liar!
Adolf Hitler was a sadistic, genocidal maniac. No question of it. None whatsoever! So why am I writing about him? Especially in a column devoted to food? Because I am sick and tired of those alt-right sonofabitches trying to say he had anything approaching a redeeming quality. Oh, and he was food hypocrite! One of…
…And Then The Building Blew Up!
I’ll admit it. I am addicted. Yes, it is a guilty pleasure but an addiction is an addiction and must be professed and acted upon. Hello, my name is Mike and I am an addict. It has been 10 days since my last barbecue chicken wing from Rally’s. Deep breath. That’s a weight off my…
DAMN YOU COSTCO!!!!
Never shop at Costco during a blizzard! Sounds like a joke, right?!? Damn you to blazes, Costco! You ruined my New Year’s Resolution again! I swear I tried. But, you blew it away again! I promised the doctor I would lose weight. Twenty pounds to be exact. And, I was doing pretty well until —…
You Must Be Kidding Me!?!
Political correctness can go take a flying leap! Especially when it affects my cooking. There are many important things affecting the world today that you should be upset about: Poverty. War. Famine. Disease. My making a pot of pasta sauce is not one of them. Need I explain? Okay, I will One of my favorite…
The Buffet In Hell, Part The Second
There are many foods that you would expect on the buffet in Hell but only one is sure to jump out from a darkened alley and attack. You can smell it coming from a mile away. The Lunchroom Horror! Leafy Green Terror! The Slime Monster! RUNNNNNNNNN! IT’S GODZILLA VERSUS —- OKRA!!!!!!!!!!! Tokyo is doomed! Seriously,…
The Buffet In Hell, Part the First
Talk about a shitstorm … YEESH! You ask one stupid question online and you get swarmed. All I asked is “What one food would you expect to find on the buffet in hell?” and you would not believe the flack! I expected the answers would be simple. You know, like lima beans or raw oysters,…
What Died In Here?
It’s the strongest spice known to man and most of you have never heard of it. Really – BUT you may have heard of some of its nicknames: Devil’s Breath. Corpse Flour. Bad Feet. Or, my personal favorite: Teenager’s Tennis Shoes. Seriously, it stinks. It’s official name is Asafeotidae. The name is a merger of…
Marinated Mammoth?
I am a bad man. I am a bad, bad man. Seriously, I am a bad, bad, bad man. Do you really need evidence? Okay. A couple of weeks ago I was teen-sitting. That is when they are too old to be babysat but too young to drive. My youngest godson, Jaime, and I were…
My Life In Bad Food 