Costco Ruined My New Year’s Resolution

Most people resolve to lose weight or to exercise more each New Year’s. Not Me. My New Year’s Resolution: Go to Costco and actually come home with ONLY the item I went there to get. Un-huhn… My resolution lasted exactly twenty-nine days… Here is how it happened. When I woke us this morning, there was…

Rocky Mountain WHAT?!?

Anthony Bourdain I ain’t. Seriously. I do not eat weird food just to eat weird food like he does. For example, I saw him  on TV eating deep-fried locusts… The guy ate BUGS! and he liked them! I have a moth fly accidentally into my mouth and I am coughing and barfing for 45 minutes…

Say “Ahhhhh!”

As some of you know, I have had surgery of late and have been a bit quiet in my writing. BUT never let it be said that my adventures in bad food are completed! As a matter of fact, it has even given me material for yet another bad food adventure. So, there I was…

Secret Herbs and Spices, Eh?

I have a deep dark secret. One that is sure to make you ashamed of me. I try to hide it but like all deep and dirty secrets it finds its way out. I am an addict. And cannot control it. I am addicted to Original Recipe Kentucky Fried Chicken. There is just something about…

BREAKING NEWS: Wikileaks Stole My –

Can You Believe it? Seriously, Can You Believe It? How dare those Russian hackers do this? Is nothing sacred? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gotcha! The complete title of this is “BREAKING NEWS: My Life In Bad Food: Wikileaks Stole My Risotto Recipe!” In the midst of one of the dirtiest elections in our nation’s history, Wikileaks released emails…

Mikey Had A Little Lamb

As some of you may know, I have a difficult relationship with lamb. I won’t make a secret of it. To me, lamb is greasy and normally has an aftertaste reminiscent of antifreeze. It’s not just that I have had a lot of bad lamb – and I have. Really, really bad lamb. It doesn’t…

Killer Coke?

Did I ever tell you about the time a Diet Coke tried to kill me? Seriously! I kid you not. Actually, soda has tried to kill me a couple of times…True ‘dat! The first time was a couple of years ago. I was driving through the southern part of Indianapolis in my old Kia Spectra….

Coconut Cream Schnauzer?

I may have a bit of a problem. Hello, My Name is Mike and I am a coconut cream pie addict. It has now been three days since my last piece. Seriously. I like nothing better than to slip into something more comfortable and to just dive in. HMMPH! ¬†Soooooome people! I meant slide into…

Mike and the Magical Shoes

I blame my friend, Daniel del Cavallo, for this story: Getting old is a bitch. First, there was gout. Then, there was tendonitis. Now, there’s collapsed arches. No, I do not mean an abandoned McDonald’s. So, how does this become a bad food story? Let me explain. I was not able to volunteer for the…

Ever Played Russian Roulette?

I don’t know about you but I really, really hate it when someone messes in my kitchen. And I get really paranoid when it takes FOREVER to get things back to the way they were. Paranoid to the point of ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH! Let me explain: My husband has just finished the most amazing makeover of our…

You Made HOW Much?

This is not quite a bad food story but it could have gone very wrong. Well, it actually did. But, then it didn’t. Let me explain: “Hey, Mike. Are you willing to bake bread for an event?” came over the phone. “Sure. how many loaves do you need?” I asked. “Fifty?” she asked. “Fifty? What…

Four Little Words That Lead to Hell

Everyone has their triggers. You know what I mean. The words that set them off. Their “hot buttons” if you will. They can be simple. “Stop!” They can be dramatic. “This is a stick-up!” They can be a let-down. “Have you met my husband?” They can even lead to a host of other questions. “I…