Here is the start of the murder mystery that I am working on! Tell me what you think… The knife sliced into its victim with speed and precision. Zip! Zip! Zip! Life juices poured out and down. The murderer leaned in again for another attack. Zip! Zip! Zip! His victim lay still. Satisfied that the…
Author: M.J. Hobbs
Middle aged, furry, bear type who enjoys cooking, writing and wearing the occasional chicken hat to renaissance faires.
Are You Sure We Ordered That?
I REEEEEEAAAAAALLLLLY need to check the order tickets at restaurants more often.
Feeling A Bit Crabby?
I don’t know about you but I LOVE crab! I mean, let’s face it – it is poor man’s lobster. You can boil it, broil it, fry it, quiche it, sautee it, barbecue it, and even roast it. You can make crab cakes, fettucini, cocktails, seafood salad, crab chowder, crab quiche, crab bites and even…
You Bought A What?
How many of you have been to an auction? I am not talking about some quiet little charity thing where everyone politely writes down a bid on a piece of paper and the bids are announced over dinner. I am talking about a loud, rancorous, jam-packed explosion of noise and people with a star running…
Let’s Welcome to the Stagelights…
Covid-19 has me really, really freaking out from cabin fever. I just want to see my friends. I want to hug them. Better yet, I want to cook for them. I know it sounds weird, but I really, really need to cook for people. I thought I was some kind of psychotic but then my…
The Buffet in Hell — Election Edition
Yeah, I know there was an election this past week but I have something more important going on. I am fat… or so the doctor tells me… GRRRRRRR! I hate dieting. Let me repeat that… I HATE dieting. I mean I know I have to cut down on my cholesterol and fat intake but the…
The Ball-less Wonder (or I Really Gotta Watch My Mouth Once In A While)
Well, I did it again… I got a standing ovation while standing in a line at a superstore. It could have gone either way…I either get punched or I get applause. Luckily, I got applause. I was not having a very good day. The previous day I had totalled my car and I hurt. On…
How to Make Chicken Flavored Glue
Every cook does it. They just won’t admit it. Every cooks cheats on occasion. Some use canned spaghetti sauce. “I can take this jar of Ragu and make it taste exactly like what my mother used to make! Of course you can, IF YOUR MOTHER USED RAGU!!! Some use Velveeta when they make their mac…
Food! Glorious Food!
When is the last time you had to carve soup with a knife? Sometimes, you make the best tasting concoctions purely by accident. Seriously, I have known culinary masterpieces to come out of nowhere. Dinner last Thursday is an example. My husband is a fantastic baker, a truly amazing baker, but he is not known…
Dysshing Up The Pandemic!
There are many things I expected to be stuck with while the stay at home orders were in effect. Strawberries were not one of them. Ramen, yes. Strawberries, no. Two gallons of them actually. They were the result of a Costco pandemic buying trip on the way home from the office shutdown. Anyone else out…
BACON! BACON! BACON!
With the pandemic and social distancing still on, shopping has been anything but easy. For instance, I have NEVER ever seen the meat case at Costco completely empty before. I am not talking less variety than normal. I mean completely empty of all fresh meat… No ground beef. No fresh chicken. No pork roast. Nada….
Recipe for the Apocalypse
Those of you who know me know that when I cook, I cook a lot. Not just a lot. A LOT! Being a former caterer and a Master Cook in the SCA, it is sort of expected. The standing joke is that I have enough food in my fridge to feed an entire Boy Scout…
My Life In Bad Food 