It’s that time again!

I asked my friends for suggestions for the Buffet in Hell for Thanksgiving and I was given a plethora of choices.

There were the ones I expected:

1. Cranberry relish – this always holds the record for the most votes to meet any damned souls in Hell.
2. Green bean casserole – the weird variations shown could only be ascribed to LSD somehow slipped into the family punch.
3. Corn stuffing – Just ugh!

Then, there were the ones I actually liked:

1. Candied yams – seems like a lot of people had issues with them.
2. Creamed corn – guess someone made it wrong.
3. Jello salad – yeah, I know it is easy to fuck up…

Then, there were the sort of unusual ones that leave you questioning the upbringing some people had:

1. Baked stuffing squares (?) – who would do that to stuffing?
2. Tequila and butter marinated asparagus – that’s just plain gross!
3. Rutabagas – Who would serve that for Thankgiving?
4. Liver and onions – this is the most evil food known to humanity and any parent that serves it to their child should be charged with child abuse.

Finally, there were the ones I hadn’t even considered or thought of ever for Thanksgiving:

1. Tofurkey – Tofu belongs in one place and one place alone…the garbage disposal.
2. Fish – who in their right mind serves fish on Turkey Day?
3. Clam stufiing – the name says it all…who in the hell wants clam flavored turkey? And, I like clams!

BUT, the winner was more disgusting sounding that any other item I had ever seen listed.

The winner (and I use that term loosely) is:

SPAGHETTI-O JELLO MOLD!!!

Yup! I mean how much more disgusting can you get?!?

I Googled it when someone first suggested it and it turned out to be even more disgusting and revolting than I had feared.

IN the 1950’s, some resourceful but unfortunately mentally touched cook had taken two large cans of Spaghetti-O’s and mixed it with a large packet of unflavored gelatin (although some versions used aspic so we mixed two even more disgusting ingredients in). One cook even added a can of cooked clams. Pour this into a large bundt cake pan mold.

AND SERVE COLD!

Can someone please hold the bucket while I puke?

Oh, and one resourceful cook even filled the cavity with some of those tiny Armour hot dogs.

Can I please have that bucket again?

NOW LET”S DO IT RIGHT!

Green Jello Salad

Ingredients:

2 packets lime gelatin

1 premixed bowl of Cool Whip

I can of mixed fruit cocktail but you can replace this with one cup shredded apple and 1 cup shredded pineapple.

1/2 cup cream cheese

1 cup mini marshmallows

2 cups hot water

2 cups cold water

And the secret ingredient is:

1 cup Albanese gummi bears

1. Open the fruit cocktail and drain it thoroughly. Undrained pineapple has a chemical which keeps gelatin from solidifying.
2. Dissolve the gelatin in the hot water.
3. Add cold water and cream cheese
4. Place in the fridge for 90 minutes to two hours until it begins to thicken.
5. Using a whisk, break up the gelatin and add the drained fruit and the gummi bears.
6. Place back in fridge to thicken and cover with the rest of the Cool Whip.
7. Serves 6.
8. ENJOY!

copyright 2021 M.J. Hobbs