Well, I did it again…

I got a standing ovation while standing in a line at a superstore.

It could have gone either way…I either get punched or I get applause.

Luckily, I got applause.

I was not having a very good day. The previous day I had totalled my car and I hurt.

On top of that the doctor had ordered me to lose 25 lbs. I am a musclebear by nature but he wanted me to be more muscle and less bear,

Therefore, a trip to the grocery was in order. After all, if you are going to lose weight, you might as well enjoy the food you are eating.

BUT, I had to avoid all beef and pork….GRRRRRRRR!

So, I was in a pissy mood leaving the grocery.

That is when I got a text message from my husband asking me to stop at Lowe’s for a propane tank for his blowtorch.

Due to Covid 19 and the fact that our governor is an idiot who refused to add more restrictions so Indy is a hotspot, everyone at Lowe’s was wearing a mask as they should have been and the lines were stretched out and snaked halfway across the store to keep people safe.

I had been in line about ten minutes when this idiot started to loudly complain.

“These lines are bullshit!” I heard from behind me.

Turning, I saw the idiot about ten feet behind me.

Redneck? Check!

Orange hat? Check!

Face mask pulled under his nose? Check!

Pissy look on his face? Check! Which was really too bad as he was kinda cute.

“We all need to complain about this fucking social distancing!” he spat out barely missing the old lady he was looming over.

“Sir, please calm down!” asked the Lowe’s clerk standing nearby.

“I only have one item!” he said holding up a can of spray paint. ” I shouldn’t have to wait in this line!”

“Sir, we are doing this to keep people safe.”

“Well, fuck that!” he said throwing down the can on the floor. “This is all a hoax anyway!”

The crowd looked on in shock.

I just couldn’t help it…

“Thank You!” I barked.

The redneck turned to me curiously and said, “What?”

“Thank you for showing us how small your penis is!”

He blinked and the crowd drew in its breath.

“What?”

“Thank you for showing us all exactly how small your penis is!” as I held up a pinky.

He gaped.

THEN THE OLD LADY LAUGHED!

And the crowd did, too.

Gaping, he turned to look at the crowd and he was GONE! trailed by laughter.

You know my mouth is gonna get me in trouble sometime.

NOW LET’S DO IT RIGHT!

Turkey Meatballs

INGREDIENTS:

Ground Turkey, 3 lbs.

1 Egg

Parmesan Cheese, Ground, 1 cup

Garlic, Ground 1 tbsp.

Rosemary

Oregano

Pepper

Olive oil

Secret ingredient:

Cubebs, ground 2 tsp.

1. Make sure the turkey is well-ground.
2. Heat olive oil in a large skillet to medium.
3. Whip the egg and add it to the turkey.
4. Mix in the Parmesan cheese and spices to taste.
5. Form the turkey into balls about 1 inch in diameter.
6. Lightly fry the turkey balls in the olive oil until done but do not overcook or they will dry out.
7. Serve with your favorite pasta or rice.
8. Serves four.
9. ENJOY!

copyright 2020 M.J. Hobbs