When cooking, you expect a lot of questions.

“What is this?”

Simple but to the point.

“Is this Kosher?”

Oops.

“Was there dairy in this?”

It is butter cream frosting after all.

Even “What was that Best By date again?”

Do you really want to know this?

You do not expect, however, to be accused of a Federal crime when shopping.

A friend asked me for a recipe last week that reminded me of this criminal endeavour.

Let me explain…

One of my favorite ways to spend time with my husband is to go thrifting. Goodwills, Habitat for Humanity, flea markets all make the rounds. We load up the car with our donations and head out.

Funny thing is that no matter how much we donate we always seems to come home with more than we left with.

It’s like that song, “Thrift Store” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.

“I had a broken keyboard. I bought a broken keyboard.” LOLOL

Enormous quantities of Xmas ornaments. Picture frames. Beat up recliners.

All require attention from him while I scour the kitchen ware. I mean you can never have enough crock pots, right?

Look at all that silver plate. How about a dented sauce pan?

I know my family has hoarding tendencies and I have to restrain myself from exploding!

We were wandering through the Goodwill south of Indy when I came across the neatest little mortar and pestle. It was marble and I needed a new one to travel with as I cook on the road a lot. I popped it in the cart and got ready to check out.

The checkout lady was not what I would call welcoming. She gave me the stinkeye as I placed the mortar on the counter to check out.

“Do you know what this?” she asked in an odd voice.

“Oh, of course!” I answered.

“Do you know what they are used for?”

“Yeah….?” I said a bit hesitantly.

“Well, just let me give you some advice, young man.” She intoned.

“Ooookay…” I answered oddly.

“Honey, you better hide this from the cops.” she said leaning in.

“Pardon me?”

“Make sure you hide this when driving.” she whispered.

“Oh?”

“These are the first things the cops look for during the meth raids.”

And, we’re outa there!

 

NOW LET’S DO IT RIGHT!!!

Pepper Sauce for Pork
Ingredients:

Red Wine, one gallon

Red Seedless Grapes, five lbs.

Ground Garlic, 2 tbsps.

Black Pepper, 2 tbsps.

Long Pepper, 2 tbsps.

Sea Salt, 4 tbsps.

Bread Crumbs, 2 cups

And the secret ingredient is:

Worcestershire Sauce, 1 pint

1. In a large covered baking pan, pour in the red wine and garlic.
2. Stem the red grapes and add them to the wine. DO NOT PEEL.
3. Preheat the oven to 250 degrees F.
4. Mix in the sea salt.
5. Using a mortar and pestle grind the peppers together and add to the wine mixture.
6. Add the Worcestershire sauce.
7. Cover and place the pan in the oven.
8. Bake AT LEAST overnight.
9. Once thoroughly cooked, whip the grapes with a whisk to break them up.
10. Now add the bread crumbs to thicken as needed.
11. Bake again until the sauce has the consistency of raspberry jam.
12. Serve with braised pork for a taste that explodes.
13. ENJOY!

Copyright M.J.Hobbs 2019