Okay, I admit it.

Every cook has one. A dark culinary secret that they hide away to keep people from laughing at them.

Some cooks buy frosting.

Some served canned soup.

Others, well… me,…oh… well, I sometimes use a box mix when making something that is not normally on my agenda.

Usually, dinner turns out ooookay when I do this cause even I can follow directions on the back of a box of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese if needed (even though I haven’t used their recipe in yeeeeeeaaaaaaars).

Then, there is what happened last weekend.

Let’s just say one word –

JAMBALAYA!

Most of you know that I have a background as Welsh can be so my use of bayou spicing can be a bit hesitant to say the least but just once in a while…

Anyway…

Last Saturday, I had such a craving for jambalaya that it practically woke me up. Seriously, I would have eaten it for breakfast if we hadn’t gone out to brunch with friends.

English Ivy’s serves many things for brunch but jambalaya is not one of them.

Eggs Benedict, yes!

Jambalaya, no…

So, I get home and realize that I have all of the ingredients needed EXCEPT file powder, dammit! It is not Cajun food without file powder!

That is not pronounced “File” like the tool. It is pronounced “fee-lay” like “feline” but without the cat.

What is file powder, you ask? Only God’s gift to Cajun cooking!

MWAHAHAHAHA!

File powder is made from the dried leaves of the sassafras bush and it has a spicy, slightly hot, slightly cinnamon flavor that makes the food pop! It was actually the first spice brought back from the New World by Christopher Columbus (he thought it was cinnamon!)

I was pulling out cans and jars and boxes and bags in a desperate search to soothe my Cajun cravings.

That is when I saw it. A box of jambalaya mix from a company-well-known-for-its-Cajun-recipes-but-whose-name-I-won’t-use-to-keep-from-being-sued-if-I-want-to-keep-the-shirt-on-my-back. Za – oops – that company is well know for its mixes but I think I bought this one on clearance at Olly’s.

A couple of years ago and I wondered why it was on clearance at that time.

I soon found out why.

It seemed so simple and went so wrong.

First, in a sauce pan, add 2 1/2 cups water to the rice mixture with one lb of meat and 1 tablespoon oil. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and cook until all water absorbed.

What could go wrong?

I followed the directions to the letter and what happened?

Absolutely nothing!

The spice mix dissolved in an instant and the meat cooked up nicely so that there was only one item that refused to cooperate. Know which one?

The rice! Right!

That rice absolutely refused to absorb any of the water. I boiled and boiled and boiled and nothing happened.

I even added more water and still nothing happened. It was like trying to rehydrate wood chips but I think I would have had an easier time if I had used wood.

Thirty minutes of boiling and nothing happened. It had to be some sort of Cajun curse and I started to wonder if I had pissed off some voodoo queen somehow.

Finally, in an act of desperation, I put the whole mixture in the microwave and nuked it an additional fifteen minutes.

Two hours of cooking and I had a pot of what I hoped was jambalaya.

My husband took one bite and looked at me.

“Is this supposed to crunch?” he asked.

You know Popeye’s Chicken serves jambalaya, right?

I do now.

NOW LET’S DO IT RIGHT!

Jambalaya with Seafood and Sausage
Ingredients:

4 cups Basmati Rice

2 lbs. Large Shrimp

2 lbs. Mussels in the shell

2 lbs. Andouille Sausage

Bay Leaves

File Powder

Black Peppers

Sea Salt

1 Large Onion

1 Green Pepper

2 Celery Stalks

16 oz. Tomato Paste

8 cups water

Minced Garlic

Butter, 1/2 cup

And the secret ingredient is:

Balsamic Vinegar, 1 cup

1. In a large pot add the rice and water and bring to a boil.
2. Reduce heat and allow the water to be fully absorbed.
3. In a separate pan, fry up the sausage and make sure to retain the grease.
4. In a third pan, add the butter and let it melt over a low heat.
5. Clean the shrimp and add them and the mussels to the butter.
6. Cook the seafood until done but still tender.
7. Dice the pepper, celery and onion and add to the meat.
8. Pour in the tomato paste.
9. Add the vinegar to the meat as well and cool all over a low flame.
10. Add the meat mixture to the rice and cook over a low flame.
11. Add the spices to taste.
12. Serves 10.
13. Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez!

Copyright M.J. Hobbs, 2019.