Tonight is Halloween and it is time for another edition of The Buffet In Hell!

What additional food item will be enjoyed this night by Adolf Hitler and his fellow losers in Hell?

Is it Spam?

Nasty but no.

Maybe tripe?

Gross but it can be made edible. Pho, anyone?

Corn smut? While its native name may mean ‘raven poop”, it still isn’t even in the top ten.

What food was haunting my nightmares last night? Something so gross its name can only be whispered.

Lean in…

Closer…

Closer…

Okay, it’s…

Mumblemumblemumble.

Did you get it?

No? Okay, let’s try again.

Rxaxw oxyxsxtxexrxs.

Phhhhhh…okay

Raw oysters.

Yeah.

Raw oysters.

I was having a nightmare last night where I was being chased through a hotel by Jack Nicholson with an axe. Screaming, I ran out of the building into a hedge maze

Jack popped up right in front of me and took a swing at my head with the axe while cackling.

Only, it was not an axe. It was a giant can of raw oysters.

I ran through the night only to turn up in a corridor by a bank of elevators. The doors pinged and out poured blood.

But, it wasn’t really blood.

It was raw oysters! Swept along, I was drowning in raw oysters.

Down! Down! Down! for the count in a sea of slimy, disgusting, shellfish in salt and cocktail sauce.

Cackling, Jack Nicholson pulled me from the surf of smelly cartilage.

Plopping me down, he leered and laughed.

“If you eat just one, you can walk away.” Jack offered. “Otherwise, back into the tide.”

I tried. I really, really tried.

But, that slimy little lump just sat quivering on my tongue like an eyeball plucked from an octopus.

Quivering.

Spitting it out, I jumped back into the rolling sea of shellfish.

“Raw oysters! Never!”, I screamed as I went under for the final count.

That is when I woke up!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Now Let’s Do It Right!

Fried Oysters
Ingredients:

Oysters – 36

Pepper, fresh ground

Salt, fresh ground

Flour, 1/2 cup

Breadcrumbs, 1 cup

Eggs, 2

Butter, 2 cups

Secret Ingredient:

Cilantro

1. Melt the butter in a saucier pan.
2. Drain and clean the oysters.
3. Whip the eggs, flour and bread crumbs together.
4. Add fresh ground salt and pepper.
5. Dredge the oysters in the flour mixture.
6. Flash fry in the melted butter.
7. Sprinkle with fresh chopped cilantro and serve.
8. Enjoy! Serves four.

Copyright M.J. Hobbs 2018