Adolf Hitler was a sadistic, genocidal maniac. No question of it.

None whatsoever!

So why am I writing about him? Especially in a column devoted to food?

Because I am sick and tired of those alt-right sonofabitches trying to say he had anything approaching a redeeming quality.

Oh, and he was food hypocrite!

One of those morons tried to produce a list of likeable qualities Hitler had:

Artistic?

Have you seen the dreary landscapes he made? Probably not as most of them have been destroyed but the few I have seen are about as lively and exciting as eczema. Where did he get that much brown?

Writer?

Have they read Mein fucking Kampf?

I didn’t think so.

I had to read that piece of drivel for a class in college and the only thing I can say about it is that it is as dull as dishwater. Hitler’s writing style actually makes Dostoyevsky seem upbeat! So dull, I had to take caffeine pills to get through it.

Only good for toilet paper.

Organized?

Sorry, but when you use an ability to kill upwards of ten million people, I think the “positive” trait definitely becomes an enormous “negative”.

But the one that bugs me the most when one of these ball-less wonders tries to defend one of the biggest monsters in history is when the try to use the fact that he was vegetarian to defend him!

Seriously?!?

How the hell would the fact that Hitler was a vegetarian in any way balance out his being a monster second only to Godzilla in destruction?

Oh, and it is a lie.

Nanananana!

Hitler was liar!

Need proof?

Virtually every biography states that Hitler became a strict vegetarian during World War II as a way of showing solidarity with his volk.

What they don’t tell you is the only authority was his personal cook. Constanze Manziarly is described by those closest to the Fuhrer as a dictator second only to Hitler himself when it came to her kitchen and the menus she produced. Some even stated that everyone’s favorite mass killer was a bit afraid of her and would go out of his way not to piss her off.

What the biographies don’t tell you is what appears in some British secret service reports. The reports list Hitler’s habits including his rather odd bathroom habits as well as his claimed vegetarian diet, but, they also show that he was a hypocrite who went out of his way to hide one of his habits from his cook.

You see, Hitler loved liver. To be exact, Adolt Hitler loved liver dumplings aka leberkloesse. That’s right! One of the most hated men in history loved the nastiest food in creation: liver!

And, his sorry ass was afraid to tell his own cook about it so his aides had to sneak them in to him. Or, when he travelled, they made sure there was a dish waiting for him after a hard day of genocide.

There is even a British Intelligence report where the agents are trying to figure out how to kill Hitler by poisoning one of the smuggled dumplings.

But seriously, is there any way humanly possible to make liver even worse than it already is?

Well, at least we know Hitler must be enjoying himself at the buffet in Hell! (https://mylifeinbadfood.com/2017/10/19/the-buffet-in-hell-part-the-first/)

 

 

NOW LET’S DO IT RIGHT!

As some of you know, I detest liver with a passion, but those I trust love the attached recipe.

LEBERKLOESSE

Ingredients:

1/2 lb liver sausage

1 egg

1/2 cup breadcrumbs

Parsley

Chives

1 qt Beef Stock

1. Grind liver and add to bowl.
2. Finely chop parsley and chives and add to taste.
3. Crack egg and separate yolk and white.
4. Add yolk and finely mix.
5. Add breadcrumbs until balls can be formed that hold their shape.
6. Whip the egg into the beef stock and bring to a low boil.
7. Simmer for ten minutes and serve.
8. Enjoy!

 

Copyright M. J. Hobbs 2018